24 There is a saying in Hollywood that goes something like this: “If they want me to watch the programs that I have to sell, they’ve got to pay me extra.” But the problem isn’t that sales people have to endure watching the shows per se, it’s that sometimes they don’t like the programs they’re selling. Actually, according to one executive, it’s less of a problem and more of a mere “issue.” Herb Lazarus, a former studio executive and current president of Carsey-Werner International said, “the question is not whether you like [the shows] or not, it’s what works for your clients.” So, is it better to like a show that is hard to sell or to sell a show that you don’t like? After all the job of a sales person is to sell a show, not to like it. According to a retired U.S. studio distribution president, “It is worthwhile to be honest with buyers in order to have credibility, especiallywhen the sellers sense that the buyer doesn’t like it or has no place in the schedule for that kind of a program. When buyers asked my opinion on a particularly bad show, I openly said that I didn’t like it.” This “issue” is not just confined to distribution executives. Buyers face it as well, and it is never more evident than at the L.A. Screenings where, during breaks, buyers talk freely amongst themselves about shows that they personally like but will not work for their audiences. There is a famous quote from Ralph Baruch, the founder of Viacom, who used to say that every show that he liked failed, while the ones he didn’t like succeeded. Selling and buying content is not an easy way to earn a living, (even though it’s not as hard as working in the mines). One of the many difficulties for distributors is that those charged with selling content rarely have any say in what their company produces or acquires. Almost every sales person has been in a difficult situation like this at some point, and their reaction to it and strategies for dealing with it vary. But there’s one constant: No one will admit it ever happens. And, be honest, if you were still in the employ of the genius who commissioned Last Tango In Trenton— you too would be reluctant to discuss what exactly happened when you tried to sell it to the BBC. Not all tough sales are due to dud content. Sometimes perfectly good programming just doesn’t fit the needs of a schedule. One executiveVideoAge contacted recalled his then-boss making what seemed like a modest bid for a series in which genuine A-listers, such as Roger Moore and Joan Collins, took viewers on a tour of their favorite parts of the world. The guarantee, he recalled, “seemed very reasonable for what was great prime access content.” But there was a problem. That problem, in a word, was “monopoly.” In every non-English speaking market there was one voice who always dubbed the star in question, and audiences would not accept any other voice — thus creating a monopoly, which, in turn, increased dubbing costs, putting the series outside many budgets. As our anonymous interlocutor recalled, “My boss simply hadn’t considered this and, from the second pitch on, it was like Chinese water torture — you knew what was coming and you also knew there was absolutely nothing you could do about it.” Some wise sage once defined the attributes of a perfect salesperson as someone who “knows their product and understands their market.” In the case of the content business, that “market” is almost always just the one person in the screening room with you, and an ability to read them is a vital attribute. Another sales executive recalled having a drama series set during the Vietnam War. “It was so stilted that, even though it was in color, every time I watched it, I saw it in black and white and heard the voice of Robert Mitchum!” Despite these obvious shortcomings for a series debuting in the 1990s our source recalled, “I was determined to use this series as an exercise in ‘perfect pitching’ and had really worked hard on my pitch ahead of the Cannes market, at which it was to bow. I went into my first screening with a buyer from a territory that, in those days, still only had two broadcasters; sailed word perfect through my pitch, and then began the screening. As the turgid tragedy unfolded I was watching the buyer, mostly because that is what you’re supposed to do, but also because I had already seen what was on the screen, and couldn’t bear to watch it again. The weird thing was, as I watched his face, I found myself thinking, my baby brother looks like this at Christmas — he was loving it,” she said. “When the screening ended I had a sale. He informed me, ‘I am not leaving this room until I have bought this series.’ The temptation to just grab a sale — surely, I thought, one of the few — was almost too much to resist. But his rival was coming to screen the following day and so, instead, I said how pleased I was that he liked it, but suggested that, as his competitor was due the following day, maybe we should wait and see what he said. But no, he insisted that he was going to do a deal there and then and that I should tell him how much I wanted. So, I thought, what the hell, and threw him a number about three times the growing rate. He signed the deal memo before leaving the stand.” And then there is creativity. The titleLast Tango in Trenton is, as far as we know, an invention. They Saved Hitler’s Brain isn’t. It came, along with an array of similarly improbable titles, as part of a large acquisition made by a company VideoAge contacted. Following a fine lunch with a buyer and accompanied by a small libation in a Palais screening room, the seller screened this and a few other choice turkeys, and pitched the blitzed buyer on the idea of running a Friday late-night season of such movies under the generic heading “Golden Turkeys.” A sale of 13 such titles ensued. You might hate it, the market might hate it — but it still has to be sold. That’s the beauty, art, and torture of selling content. Selling (or Buying) TV Programs That Even The Sellers (or Buyers) Don’t Like January 2015 Distribut ion Issues “Whatever you do, don’t ask Howard about the new TV season!”
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